Burgers

Maybe I'm not happy, maybe I still feel depressed. But how do I change that? How do I become happy? How can I stop crying and feeling like I don't belong in this world. Sometimes, the days trick you. Sometimes there are days where you feel pretty and happy, other days you feel strong and confident, but today...today I'm feeling insecure, ugly, sad, and useless. On those days I feel like disappearing into thin air. I feel like I don't want to exist. I feel like I should die.  I don't want to think that way, but I can't help it. I'm not myself sometimes. I don't know what to do.

Anger in a relationship is toxic, poisonous, harmful. I become a cold statute with no heart for a split second I spill toxic out of my mouth. Regret, I feel it as soon as the words escape my tongue. I just want to apologize before he thinks I stopped caring. I don't understand why I get so emotional like this. I love him. I don't want to lose him. But is there a future with us? If we keep arguing like this, I don't think we can make it... Am I wrong? To feel defensive and angry? I'm only human, but so is he. Confused, what did I say to make her feel that way? Did I hurt her? I don't care, she was wrong. She shouldn't had said that. She should be more like this and that. Wait, I do care. I just don't want to keep admitting it. I should apologize. Why does she act like this? Like a child... Am I wrong for thinking she's wrong?